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Text File  |  1998-02-08  |  3KB  |  63 lines
  1.  
  2.                                                      
  3.                                  From the              
  4.                             JOKIN' AROUND DISK         
  5.                                     by                 
  6.                             LEEJAN ENTERPRISES         
  7.                         P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.     
  8.                           South Australia. 5159.       
  9.                                                        
  10.                                                        
  11.  
  12. The following are "Data Processing Definitions":
  13.  
  14. Assumed Decimal Point - Located two positions to the right of a programmer's 
  15.                         current salary in estimating his own worth.
  16.  
  17. Bit - The increment by which programmers slowly go mad.
  18.  
  19. Chaining - A method of attaching programmers to desks to speed up output.
  20.  
  21. Checkpoint - The location from which a programmer must forget in order to be 
  22.              successful.
  23.  
  24. Core Storage - A receptacle for the center section of apples.
  25.  
  26. Counter - A device over which martinis are served.
  27.  
  28. Disassembler - An unattended five year old child.
  29.  
  30. Error - What someone else has made when he disagrees with your computer output.
  31.  
  32. External Storage - A wastebasket.
  33.  
  34. Fixed Word Length - Four-letter words used by programmers in a state of 
  35.                     confusion.
  36.  
  37. Floating Control - A characteristic exhibited when you have to go to the 
  38.                    restroom but cannot leave the computer.
  39.  
  40. Floating Point - The absolute limit before floating control is lost.
  41.  
  42. Flow Chart - A graphic representation of the fastest route to the restroom.
  43.  
  44. Input - Food, whiskey, beer, asprin, etc.
  45.  
  46. Macro - The last half of an expression of surprise: "Holy Macro".
  47.  
  48. Memory Dump - Amnesia.
  49.  
  50. Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate 
  51.              opjects.
  52.  
  53.  
  54.                                                      
  55.                                  From the              
  56.                             JOKIN' AROUND DISK         
  57.                                     by                 
  58.                             LEEJAN ENTERPRISES         
  59.                         P.O. Box 66. Happy Valley.     
  60.                           South Australia. 5159.       
  61.                                                        
  62.                                                        
  63.